Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
