After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
