he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
