my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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