I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
