he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
