My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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