I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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