either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
