Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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