I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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