I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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