did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
