Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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