dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
