If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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