god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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