i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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