i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.