This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
