Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
