Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
