dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Even my vagina gasped.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just pee around me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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