Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Life without a bra equals bliss.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
