doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
