The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
