I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
