i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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