Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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