That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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