my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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