Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar. http://tfl.nu/v158

Replies (54) Good night (2725) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life! http://tfl.nu/nhg0

Replies (22) Good night (1220) Bad night (3015) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize http://tfl.nu/5hy5

Replies (17) Good night (3476) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me... http://tfl.nu/5b54

Replies (9) Good night (4720) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am... http://tfl.nu/rcas

Replies (16) Good night (1102) Bad night (5168) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me. http://tfl.nu/heot

Replies (14) Good night (888) Bad night (4438) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(423): View more from Tennessee

drunk tastebuds have low standards.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(423): drunk tastebuds have low standards. http://tfl.nu/mx1k

Replies (6) Good night (3614) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm. http://tfl.nu/ttig

Replies (6) Good night (780) Bad night (3252) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(409): View more from Texas

The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(409): The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens. http://tfl.nu/kai5

Replies (44) Good night (3598) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj

Replies (12) Good night (2588) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub. http://tfl.nu/e0e1

Replies (4) Good night (2921) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight http://tfl.nu/yocu

Replies (20) Good night (704) Bad night (4087) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb

Replies (9) Good night (1087) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(940): View more from Texas

I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(940): I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him. http://tfl.nu/9uqa

Replies (15) Good night (1957) Bad night (663)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers... http://tfl.nu/ugq8

Replies (5) Good night (573) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: