So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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