now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.