I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize