Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
