why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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