I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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