Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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