Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
