no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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