Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
