i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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