You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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