good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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