there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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