OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
