i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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