If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize