these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The Olympian is in my bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
