PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
