Have you finally orgasmed yet?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
