The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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