Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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