Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
