i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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