i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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