how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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