I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?