Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.