Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy http://tfl.nu/zo8r
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence? (1-563): The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them? http://tfl.nu/0g65
  Replies (46) Good night (2766) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject http://tfl.nu/mz5t
  Replies (8) Good night (709) Bad night (3484)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop http://tfl.nu/q8xc
  Replies (18) Good night (6626) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate? http://tfl.nu/77q7
  Replies (77) Good night (7010) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Also pregame at mine tomorrow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat. (917): Also pregame at mine tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/3lzk
  Replies (3) Good night (3147) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right? http://tfl.nu/a685
  Replies (14) Good night (2794) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them. http://tfl.nu/1ayu
  Replies (1) Good night (1400) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ad52
  Replies (7) Good night (1417) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything. http://tfl.nu/jcb8
  Replies (4) Good night (1953) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (1) Good night (2082) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/cumu
  Replies (8) Good night (1675) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing http://tfl.nu/uira
  Replies (0) Good night (246) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again. http://tfl.nu/hmft
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer... http://tfl.nu/gvjp
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (328)

Randomize