Texts From Last Night

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  (+93): View more from

  dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this

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  (+93): dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this http://tfl.nu/ft70
  Replies (13) Good night (842) Bad night (1854)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on

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  (954): I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on http://tfl.nu/pg75
  Replies (43) Good night (3324) Bad night (873)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.

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  (770): Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on. http://tfl.nu/h5b5
  Replies (38) Good night (1010) Bad night (5049)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose

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  (412): Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose http://tfl.nu/1rcv
  Replies (9) Good night (3230) Bad night (830)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.

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  (913): the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head. http://tfl.nu/5rt7
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (2186)
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  (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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  (481): I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW http://tfl.nu/doc5
  Replies (8) Good night (2222) Bad night (676)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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  (920): Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better http://tfl.nu/nui9
  Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (1669)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.

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  (612): I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise. http://tfl.nu/awbv
  Replies (4) Good night (1495) Bad night (537)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.

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  (847): When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off. http://tfl.nu/w3pn
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (1481)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (534)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack

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  (502): Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack http://tfl.nu/0ld5
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (686)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

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  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (338)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in

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  (678): So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in http://tfl.nu/805f
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (227)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable

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  (303): If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/85jq
  Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (475)
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  (424): View more from California

  I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.

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  (424): I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it. http://tfl.nu/lp2l
  Replies (4) Good night (239) Bad night (302)

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