Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
