It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
