i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dick very happy bro
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
